· Peeing in the changing-room shower is of course, most definitely taboo.

· Obey time limits in peak hours. Most gyms set a time limit of 30 minutes on aerobic machines so don't be selfish.

· No excessive posing. The bottom of your shirt is not a towel, everyone knows you're only lifting it up to show off your abs.

· Wipe up your sweat. Pools of sweat left behind on equipment are a filthy safety hazard and not nice for the person after you. Use a towel.

· Refrain from flirting. While some people may meet their soulmate in the gym, most are just there to get fit, so stay focused.

· Proper attire is essential. Naked torsos are unacceptable. Baggy shorts definitely require underwear. Sports bras are a must. Lycra went out in the 1980s.

· When using weights remember the lesson you were taught at playschool: "Put your toys away when you're done with them." So make sure you save a bit of energy for putting them back after use, ok?

· As for shower-shoes, they're those tasteful plastic shoes that you wear in the er, yep you guessed it, shower. They may ruin your street-cred but they'll help prevent veruccas and the like. Nice.