Hi Debbie,

I'm in a dilemma. I'm falling for a guy at work. We've kissed at an office party and he keeps asking me out. Inter-office relationships are not strictly forbidden but I know they're frowned upon and I'm worried I could be risking my career. I don't want to take any chances as I've just had a promotion and things are going really well. He's says we can keep it quiet but I am not so sure.

Thanks for your help!

Alice

UKTV Style's Agony Aunt replies:

Hi Alice,

I have to say that I'm rather old-fashioned about this kind of thing, in the sense that I don't really think other people's relationships are anyone else's business but their own. The idea that you should not be allowed to date someone you meet at work, smacks of bureaucracy gone mad. I certainly met my husband that way (and most of my previous boyfriends come to that!) So my initial reaction is not to worry about the company, and just to enjoy the man. But you are obviously anxious about this, so let's examine the issues a little more deeply.

Firstly, do you have to interact with this guy on a daily basis in your work? Do you work closely together, or are you just colleagues in the same company? This is relevant for two reasons. Firstly, if things go well, and you fall in love with one another, there is the risk that you may be 'blind' to one another's real faults and assets, which could lead to you making business decisions for the wrong reasons. The other side of this coin, is that should the relationship 'go south', then you need to ensure that one or other of you is not in a position to make the other's working life difficult. Hell hath no fury ... (and all that). This is important, particularly if you really love your job and the relationship is very new and untested. If you are just colleagues, who don't really need to interact with each other, this isn't much of a problem, but if one of you is the boss, then perhaps you should think very carefully about the possible consequences.