Little Angels
- Little Angels is off air
- Remind me
Dr Tanya's Top Tips
If you want to turn your child into a Little Angel, look no further than this introduction to Dr Tanya's tried and tested methods. There are some great gems of wisdom here and adopting just one of these methods could make all the difference.
Be positive
One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents, because we're so busy, is to leave our children alone and say nothing to them when they're behaving nicely. When their behaviour gets out of control, we come in with all guns blazing and they get tons of our time and tons of our attention. If we do that often enough, what children learn is that the way to get more of mummy or daddy is to start beating each other up because there is no pay-off or reward for sitting and playing nicely.
Ignore the behaviour you don't want. Instead, emphasise the positive with cuddles, kisses, and praise, and tell them all the things they need to hear in order for them to understand they will get attention for doing things nicely. Conversely, more chat and attention when your little one is behaving badly will make things worse.
Distraction
Firstly, you need to understand the signs that the behaviour is escalating out of control. Next, be aware of possible triggers to potential meltdown. Then, as soon as you feel the temper rising, distract them onto something else: a funny song, story, or "did you see that green squirrel with orange stripes just fly past the window?" You may sound a bit odd but if it takes the child's attention away from destructive behaviour, who cares?!
Ignoring
If distraction is not effective and tantrums begin, try and see if you can ignore the behaviour. Ignoring gives the message that the behaviour gets no reward and if you use this technique alongside praising every lovely behaviour, your children will get a very powerful message. Ignoring can be very difficult if you are out in public but for all those tutting bystanders as you struggle with your child having a tantrum in the supermarket, remember they've probably been there themselves - or they're fibbing!
Time Out
As a last resort for extremely bad behaviour, you can use a technique called Time Out where you put your child in a room and ignore them.
First ask your child to stop misbehaving. If that doesn't work, ask again, but more firmly. This gives the child two chances to change his or her behaviour, and if they do, you praise them.
One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents, because we're so busy, is to leave our children alone and say nothing to them when they're behaving nicely. When their behaviour gets out of control, we come in with all guns blazing and they get tons of our time and tons of our attention. If we do that often enough, what children learn is that the way to get more of mummy or daddy is to start beating each other up because there is no pay-off or reward for sitting and playing nicely.
Ignore the behaviour you don't want. Instead, emphasise the positive with cuddles, kisses, and praise, and tell them all the things they need to hear in order for them to understand they will get attention for doing things nicely. Conversely, more chat and attention when your little one is behaving badly will make things worse.
Distraction
Firstly, you need to understand the signs that the behaviour is escalating out of control. Next, be aware of possible triggers to potential meltdown. Then, as soon as you feel the temper rising, distract them onto something else: a funny song, story, or "did you see that green squirrel with orange stripes just fly past the window?" You may sound a bit odd but if it takes the child's attention away from destructive behaviour, who cares?!
Ignoring
If distraction is not effective and tantrums begin, try and see if you can ignore the behaviour. Ignoring gives the message that the behaviour gets no reward and if you use this technique alongside praising every lovely behaviour, your children will get a very powerful message. Ignoring can be very difficult if you are out in public but for all those tutting bystanders as you struggle with your child having a tantrum in the supermarket, remember they've probably been there themselves - or they're fibbing!
Time Out
As a last resort for extremely bad behaviour, you can use a technique called Time Out where you put your child in a room and ignore them.
First ask your child to stop misbehaving. If that doesn't work, ask again, but more firmly. This gives the child two chances to change his or her behaviour, and if they do, you praise them.
Your Comments
- Dr Tanya's Top Tips :angry:
I see, I hope you don't mind my sick humor, (well the part about mothers been always right is not so sick) some of my friends say it is a bit dry. I had a friend who told me the orange flavoring put in soft drink makes children go hyper active and misbehave, he did not know this until he witnessed it on his friend and her child) he said some countries have banned it, but it is still sold in New Zealand, but no doubt your medical people have covered all that.
So I am sorry it was not a quick fix and my dry humor was not able to help, Tonight (it is Monday 8:50pm as I post this) I rang up a friend who has three young boys, they have not seen “little angles” seen on TV, they are opposed to the “anti-smacking law” been past in parliament at the moment because they don't like been told how to raise their children. I am not sure if I should include a story I just sent off the Editor of a newspaper - Something to say? Add a comment...
