Hi Debbie,

My new boyfriend is pretty adventurous in the bedroom but he's recently said he'd like a threesome, which I was considering, until he suggested one of my best friends as the third party! I am not comfortable with this although she'd probably be up for it as I know what she's like. I don't want to be a prude, and I'm always up for trying new things but isn't this going too far?

Thanks.

UKTV Style's Agony Aunt replies:

Hi there,

Well, he's not the first guy to suggest such a thing and he certainly won't be the last! This has got to be one of the all-time favourite male fantasies and I should imagine he was delighted that you were even prepared to consider it.

It seems that there are two issues going on here. Firstly, whether you really feel that this is something that you would like to indulge in at all, and secondly your concerns over his choice of your best friend as a potential third 'playmate'.

Let's take that first. Why did he suggest her? Perhaps he thought you would be more comfortable with a good friend. Or, less generously, maybe he has secretly fancied her all along and this is a great way of 'trying her out' out in the open.

Either way, the reality is that you will need to deal with a variety of emotions if you indulge him in this fantasy, and ask yourself some pretty serious questions. Firstly, do you actually fancy your best friend? Presumably part of the point of a threesome is that the girls enjoy one another as well as giving and receiving pleasure from the guy involved, so this is pretty key.

Next, and perhaps most important, how will you really feel watching your boyfriend have sex with your best friend? Will you find it a turn-on, or will jealousy overwhelm you?

Then try to imagine how this experience will affect your feelings for him and for her afterwards.