Sex, Love and War

The Truth about Sex, Love and War

The Second World War was a drama that caught Britain in a vortex of fear and anxiety, of loss and separation, of 'making do', of drabness and boredom. Yet for some, the war represented a time when they felt more intensely alive than ever before, despite, or maybe because of the ever present threat of death...

Soon, the huge influx of overseas soldiers, became a great source of entertainment for young British girls. They often had more money than the average British 'Tommy' and their smart uniforms were a big bonus.

Phyllis Roller (née Welfare) was an 18-year-old living in the small, sedate town of Crowborough in Sussex on the arrival of the half a million strong Canadian advance guard. Phyllis fell in love with a 25-year-old Canadian soldier called Ken, with whom she lost her virginity and had a child – despite his married status.

Things looked hopeful for the couple and their illegitimate child when Ken sought a divorce. But when Phyllis and her baby sailed to a new life in Canada, she learned Ken had already married someone new. Phyllis, in a nod to her favourite film, Gone With The Wind, told Ken: 'I can't spend the rest of my life waiting to catch you between marriages.'

Marjory Lewis (née Ray)' was 15 when Jean Cornet, a Belgian soldier training as a radio operator for a mission which would see him dropped into occupied Europe, came to live at her family home. The pair fell in love and vowed to marry once the war was over – and Marjory was of legal age.

But it was not to be. In 1941, Jean was parachuted into France on a dangerous mission to help the Resistance movement, was caught, arrested by the Germans, and executed by a firing squad. In his last letter to Mary, he wrote: 'I have lost much by leaving you. Nevertheless I have no regrets. It was my duty to leave and it was also God's wish. Goodbye my darling, this is the last letter I write to you. Don't keep it, you must forget me. Forget me, my love, forget the happy moments which we experienced together, forget everything.'

Illegitimacy rates soared. In 1940, 26,574 illegitimate births were registered; by 1945 the number had risen to 64,743. The increase was partly due to the fleeting nature of so many wartime romances, partly because of widespread ignorance of contraception, partly couples with illegitimate babies were often prevented from marrying by wartime duties.

Bessy Hassell, who married Ted early in the war, had two illegitimate children while her husband was serving overseas. Ted felt unable to forgive her 'misdemeanours' and the couple divorced. Unmarried mothers like Doris Potter were often sent away to institutions to have their babies and hide their 'shame'. Doris eventually gave her child up for adoption – a decision she still believes was best for the child.
 
 
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