The who?
If you're not familiar with these guys then you obviously didn't watch telly through the 1980s. Simply put, The A-Team is as glorious a piece of action entertainment as you will ever see!

The show follows the exploits of a crack commando unit from the Vietnam war, who were imprisoned for a crime they didn't commit. They then escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground, where they survived as soldiers of fortune.

Soldiers of what?
Basically this means that each week The A-Team are hired by some hapless victim to save them from a band of aggressive thugs. The victim is usually the decent owner of something like an orphanage or a farm and they tend to have an attractive daughter.

The thugs also tend to be a specific type: they are either a gang of rednecks that work for some local crime boss who wears cowboy boots and a white jacket to show he's important, or a band of generic Latino bandits who, quite frankly, have no business being anywhere near an orphanage or farm in the first place.

If I hire The A-Team, who am I getting?
The A-Team comprises of leader John 'Hannibal' Smith, a master of disguise who "loves it when a plan comes together"; Templeton 'Face' Peck, a handsome conman; 'Howling Mad' Murdock, an ace pilot usually registered in a mental hospital; and Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus, a hardnut with a mohawk and more gold jewellery than Joan and Jackie Collins combined.

If I hire them, what can I expect for my money?
It's quite simple really. If you fit the above criteria for being rescued, and if you can find them - although as stated earlier that's not very difficult - you can expect the following to happen.

When you're being hassled by your thugs The A-Team will turn up in their distinctive van and beat them up, usually firing off some sarcastic insult directed at their boss, to whom they will run off, ashamed.

The A-Team will then hang around for a bit, comforting you or providing comic relief; this usually takes the form of Murdock winding up B.A. This harmony is suddenly broken by the arrival of more thugs and their boss.

There will be another fight, only this time The A-Team will lose. They will be taken away and locked up in a barn. All seems lost.

While in prison, The A-Team will make a tank out of an old truck and some piping they've found in the barn. This will happen in a montage of clips showing B.A. welding and Murdock sawing. This tank will then fire high-speed cabbages and other homemade bombs.

The A-Team will bust out of their prison, punch up all the thugs, cause all their evil cars to explode and chase off the evil boss forever, leaving you in peace. Face may sleep with your attractive daughter.

Genius!

How much does it cost to hire The A-Team?
Well we couldn't tell you how much they cost, as their rates have probably gone up since the 80s. As they seem to always help the poor and defenceless, it's highly likely that it won't be a great deal. In fact, they operate on a 'no win no fee' basis.

We should advise you, however, that The A-Team is not a registered company, so don't expect to sign any contract. Just keep your attractive daughter away from Face.

Where are they now?
Smooth-talking, cigar chomping Hannibal was played by film veteran George Peppard, most famously known for his role opposite Audrey Hepburn in 'Breakfast At Tiffany's'. Sadly, Peppard passed away in 1994.

Face was played by Dirk Benedict who had previously starred in cult sci-fi series 'Battlestar Galactica'. He has gone on to write several plays, novels and a collection of self-help books.

Dwight Schultz played the part of Murdock. Trained as a theatre actor, he still pops up in a range of TV dramas and films, as well as supplying his voice to cartoons and video game characters.

Mr, T played master mechanic B.A. Baracus. A bit of an 80s icon, his real name is Lawrence Tureaud. His role in The A Team gave him worldwide fame, but he is also known for the role of boxer Clubber Lang in Rocky III. Sadly in the 90's he was diagnosed with lymph cancer and has been fighting the disease ever since.

Will they ever return?
This is highly unlikely, given that one of them is dead. However, there are recent rumours in Hollywood of a big budget remake, so who would play these iconic characters?

Well, in case anything happens soon, here's who we'd like to see in the roles - George Clooney would be an excellent Hannibal; Brad Pitt could be perfectly cast as Face; Jim Carrey is Murdock, no question; and B.A. could be played by either that bloke from 'Pulp Fiction' or that bloke from 'The Green Mile'.

But even if they made a film, you just know it wouldn't be the same!

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