Five reasons why hot weather is EVIL

4: Food chaos

Climate change may be irritating, but even worse is the havoc that heat plays with the way we eat. Now, eating is usually a simple procedure. Take breakfast, for example. You collapse out of bed, stagger like a rohypnolled gorilla into the kitchen and force your face awake by cramming it full of toast and coffee.

But on a hot day, after a humid night? Toast and coffee's now about as appealing as chewing on sandpaper while rubbing a hot water bottle over your head. And you don't want orange juice because it gives you a stomach ache that early in the morning. So you contemplate kicking off the day with a fruit yoghurt. After this, it's but a short step to shoving your naked-except-for-pants body into the fridge so you can reach that lovely frosted back wall with your big flapping tongue. Pathetic.