Five reasons why hot weather is EVIL

3: Gross body visibility

Yet another drawback of good weather is that it massively increases gross body visibility. Now, people wearing scanty clothing would be OK if they looked like Brad Pitt and Scarlett Johansson. But people don't look like Brad Pitt and Scarlett Johansson. People look like Jim Davidson and Kerry Katona. They should keep as much kit on as possible.

And by kit we also mean shoes. Because special mention must be made of men in flip-flops – a crime against reason and humanity. You can hear them slapping down the street towards you. Vainly you hope it's a leggy girl in shorts. Instead, you see the wizened, hairy, Tolkienesque feet-creatures of a grinning bloke in khaki shorts. These people must be stopped at all costs.