Auto-destruct

Deadly gladiatorial combat is unfortunately frowned upon nowadays, but Full Metal Challenge gives us the next best thing: an array of flabbergastingly violent games in which huge, custom-built vehicles fight to the mechanical death for our viewing pleasure.

Over 27 teams from across the world, from the UK to North America to India, are involved in the series, which sees each group build their own battle car – the noisier and bigger, the better. Each episode then sees three of these monstrous machines pitted against each other in a number of bizarre contests, with the losers being eliminated from the overall tournament. It's Robot Wars but with big cars. It's like something Jeremy Clarkson might fantasise about if he was drunk. It's... well, you're getting the picture by now.

I've got it, guys...

Seeing as it involves people building evil cars from different bits and pieces, Full Metal Challenge could be seen as the meaner cousin of Scrapheap Challenge. Indeed, the very same people are behind the two shows.

Cathy Rogers – who developed and co-presented Scrapheap Challenge – was at a brainstorming session with fellow TV bigwigs when one of them blurted out his idea of a show in which teams built combat machines and subsequently tried to destroy them. Eyebrows were raised, and psychiatric assistance pondered. But then Cathy Rogers decided it was actually a pretty good idea.

In fact, it was such a pretty good idea that she decided she would present the show herself, with a little help from Mr Henry Rollins: American rock god and proud possessor of what could be the world's thickest neck. As Hannibal would have said, "I love it when a plan comes together."

It not easy being mean

Throwing ludicrous ideas around a boardroom is one thing – making the ludicrous ideas come to life is quite another.

Luckily, the crew had a budget of £7 million to play with, which meant they could do things like convert the disused site of Richborough Power Station in Kent into an arena of death. Of course, a lot of sweat went into the operation – the engineering crew (many of whom were brought over from Scrapheap Challenge) had just eight weeks to build the massive sets for the games, and then they had to work round the clock with each of the teams to ensure their cars were as good (and scary) as possible.

Oh, and then there were the endless repairs and the obscure car parts to be sourced from little garages across the country. And all so we can sit back and watch things go crunch. We are indebted to you, brave engineers.

The safety bit

The one downside with any TV programme that deals in extreme violence is that certain safety precautions must be taken into account (accidental death and injury still generally regarded as a bad thing by the stubborn killjoys at the top).

As a result, teams were instructed that their cars were only allowed to be "pimped" with defensive, rather than offensive, gadgets. Engineers also ensured that the cars were sturdy enough to withstand being tossed upside down (a very necessary precaution, considering some of the contests lined up).

The sets were also created with the long-suffering drivers in mind – courses were designed to limit the times the cars would have to accelerate, and speed bumps were strewn everywhere to keep things from getting too insane. Of course, they didn't want to get too cautious. As one engineer said, "We still wanted to allow for some very aggressive behaviour indeed." That's all right then.

Let the games begin

So what kinds of games can you actually expect to see on Full Metal Challenge? Well, to give you an idea of what the cars are subjected to, one of the contests is 10 Pin Bowling – in which the vehicle is the bowling ball and must smash into skittles that are 12 feet high. Then there's Pitball, in which the cars score goals by pushing flaming balls through rings of fire (insert bad Johnny Cash joke here). And another to look forward to is Sumo, in which we have two rampaging roadsters instead of two very fat men.

With such extravagant games to film, it's a wonder that only one of them actually cocked up. That was Bumper Cars, in which the cars were plonked on a massive pinball-style thing and made to hit various bumpers as they lit up. The first time the game was played, the bumpers didn't actually bump – they just caved in and fell over instead. Being a bit bright, the engineers duly redesigned the bumpers so they were mobile rather than fixed-on – kind of like giant hockey pucks, slipping and sliding whenever they were pummelled by the cars. Just wait till you see them in action.