Never Mind the Buzzcocks
It's Never Mind the Buzzcocks: the comedy quiz show that marries music with celebrity humiliation. Practically our favourite thing. Plus it reminds the younger, Justin Bieber-worshipping generation who the Buzzcocks were. Nice.
Never Mind the Buzzcocks may technically a gameshow, but it's more like an embarrassment engine into which celebrities are ruthlessly fed like so much pink sausage meat. And this is one machine that's been churning and whirring and screeching a very long time. It was first broadcast back in 1996, and the ringmaster of humiliation was originally Mark Lamarr, aka the 50s throwback. But when he eventually decided to go chow down on pastures new, he was replaced by the evil Peter Pan that is Simon Amstell, who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of music despite being about 12. Of course, Amstell himself has since moved on, leading Buzzcocks to do a Have I Got News For You and have a succession of guest hosts, from Alex James to Frankie Boyle.
Still, it was Amstell's tenure that probably struck the most fear into the hearts of hapless celebs, and things came to a famous head when an entity known as Samuel Preston (a kind of reality show Morrissey) appeared on the show and found himself targeted by the red Predator beam of Amstell's scathing wit. When young Simon saw fit to read out bits of the autobiography of Preston's wife Chantelle Houghton (some kind of woman, apparently) it led to him having an almighty strop and walking off the show. Bad news for Preston, but good news for one Ed Seymour, an audience member who was plucked at random from the studio audience to sit in Preston's place. As studio walkouts go, the whole incident is rivalled only by the Bee Gees huffing their way out of Clive Anderson's show.
It seemed that the only way to defeat the Amstell was to either affect John Barrowman-levels of cheerful charm (the "gay off" between them remains a source of wonder and amusement), or go weirdly berserk. Perhaps the greatest follower of the latter path was the late and seriously lamented Amy Winehouse, who lovingly caressed Amstell's face, spat on the floor and declared that she would rather have "cat AIDS" than duet with Katie Melua. Could this be the finest single quip in the show's long run? We'd probably say so, although the reliably evil Frankie Boyle has let off a few zingers during his visits to the Buzzcocks set as well. And by zingers we mean lines guaranteed to get tabloids frothing like a like a rabies-injected Mary Whitehouse.
You'd think there'd be nothing wrong with Frankie diagnosing Axl Rose with having "type 4 career cancer" or wishing all of Muse dead or referring to Wayne Rooney self-abusing, but – would you believe it – the Daily Mail saw fit to comment on his appearance in a less than favourable light. Luckily for Buzzcocks, such media outrage has been relatively rare – most of the time, everyone is more than happy to see celebs made to look clueless, frightened and just plain baffled.
Truly, few televisual pleasures can compare to the terrified confusion of a singer who has failed to recognise their own lyrics. Although a strong case could be made that every single Intros Round – in which the guests have to gamely sing the intros to songs in a desperate attempt to be comprehended by their teammates – is a mini-masterpiece of aural slapstick brilliance. By which we mean, it's funny seeing Phill Jupitus making strange noises while rocking back and forth, waggling jazz hands. Truly a lovely thing to behold, even after all these years.
When is it on?
Never Mind the Buzzcocks is next on at 11:40 pm on Monday, 3rd June on Dave.
Music quizzes
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Never Mind the Buzzcocks quiz
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Blur quiz
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Manchester music quiz
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Nirvana quiz
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Rock star deaths quiz
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Punk music quiz
Never Mind the Buzzcocks quiz
Top 10 most memorable Buzzcocks guests
Some have been funny, some confused and some simply drunk. But all have made an almighty splash behind the Buzzcocks guest desk.
Simon Amstell vs Mark Lamarr
It's a battle royal between the 50s throwback and the curly-haired upstart, but which of them has been the best presenter?
Pub trivia
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Madonna started her career as a drummer in an 80s band called The Breakfast Club. She went onto become part of another group called Emmy before finally deciding to go it alone as a singer.
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Prince's full name is Prince Rogers Nelson - he was named after the Prince Rogers Trio, his father's old jazz band.
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Next time you catch a repeat of the Fast Show, keep your eyes peeled during the Competitive Dad sketches. One of them features an appearance from none other than Amy Winehouse - then a fresh-faced 14-year-old pupil at Sylvia Young Theatre School.
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Norah Jones is the daughter of Ravi Shankar - the legendary Indian musician who taught Beatle George Harrison to play the sitar. Her real name is Geethali Norah Jones Shankar.
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Jack White of The White Stripes is fixated with the number three. He often signs his name Jack White III, owns a record company called Third Man Records, and has gone under the alias Three Quid. Why? While working as an upholsterer years ago, Jack noticed three staples holding some fabric to a piece of furniture, and became fixated with the number for evermore. As you do.
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As well as being rather too fond of fast food, Elvis also had a fetish for police badges. He was so obsessed with collecting them that he paid a special visit to the White House to pick up a narcotics agency badge from President Nixon.
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Contrary to popular belief, David Bowie's eyes aren't two different colours. The truth is that one pupil has been permanently enlarged ever since he got punched in the face at school.
Simon Amstell profile
Take one part sarcasm, add two parts wit, mix vigorously and you have Simon Amstell.
Comments
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IanI58543 | 30 Apr 13
To my mind, 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' was at its best during the series when the regulars were Mark Lamarr, Phil Jupitus and Bill Bailey. The earlier series with Sean Hughes were also very good. The show was never the same without Lamarr and once Bill Bailey left it really became a pale shadow of its former self. Prior series of Buzzcocks are not available on DVD- why then, has Dave not seen fit to air them, despite frequent repetitions of the more recent (and IMHO inferior) series?
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Amanda Jane franks | 18 Oct 10
Dont ya find that most Comedy programmes on Dave are realatively samey. Dunt get me wrong, I think that dave is awesome...Without it my day as an unemployed slob would be rather boring. I have enjoyed an evening of 'Men Behaving Badly' on Saturday. If that wern't on, i may of have to have got up from tha sofa, lol. Back to my point, it seems that the same few comedians are on everything. At the moment Lee Mack is 'tickling my funnybone'. His recent apperance in 'Would I lie to you' were awesome, I found myself literally laughing out loud to myself and he left me in complete awe. As for this Jack Whitehall...hmmmmmm, not impressed. I find that his high pitched voice and energy annoy me and just when i think that he might be funny, he carries on the joke for another half hour, totally killing any funny prospects that he had and earning him tha thumbs down from me im afraid. Either get some funny material or get off my box!
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meganM10841 | 31 Aug 10
its good but not as good as qi top gear and mock the week its starting to get boring it is also very efensive to brian may because certain celebs on there keep making comments about him
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fredwardW89952 | 5 Aug 10
Buzzcocks is the best! i love the witty jokes and how it'a a music quiz so you can also hear good music XD but i do miss Amstell as he was amazing but can't wait to see his new show!
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MarkH10260 | 29 Jul 10
Can we see season 1- 12, these where great, with the right balance of music quiz and comedy, the later ones where too much comedy and they are now getting boring, so lets have some fresh episodes from the back catalogue.
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gavinM24346 | 23 Jun 10
Think the joke Made by so-called comedian Jack whitehall about Michael jackson was in very poor taste, and shows bad judgement by dave to still air the show knowing that a joke about micheal jackson being dead was in the show. especially as we have just had the one year anniversary of his death!
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davidC87918 | 22 Jun 10
New presenter 22/06/10 Jack Whitehall, looks out of place! His idea of getting a laugh is by insulting guests, which, is obviously a tried and tested formula but doesn't work with him as you really think he means it. that guy need a talking to!"!
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Amanda Jane franks | 14 May 10
Bring back Lamarr. I loved it when he were presenting& now i refuse to watch it as HE jus dunt cut it my eyes. Lamarr were an absolute genuis! My most memorable bit were on tha Buzzcocks tape with Lamarr and Jonathan Ross, When Lamarr were shouting@ Ross to, 'Shut the F up'. Absolute Gold. xx
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shannonB99968 | 12 Mar 10
xmas special was the best, i loved it when hey got the ood out of the TARDIS!
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Emmalenexo | 19 Feb 10
buzzcocks is one of best shows on tv but now simons gone ..
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stephaniewoohoo | 12 Jan 10
saw an episode i hadnt seen afew days ago basshunter was gettin spanked by david walliams i nearly died lol
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holliee | 22 Dec 09
haha, dani did you see the christmas special? i think you'll find that one of your requests came true :L aha!
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DaniiWho | 6 Dec 09
Buzzcocks rock but i think i would like it alot more if there were celebratys like David Tennant or russell t davies :D i would be over the moon.
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Megannnnnx | 7 Nov 09
i loveeee it x
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knobby67 | 30 Oct 09
love buzzcocks just lost the edge without amstell mr fieldiing is a diamond.
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chelseaclive | 27 Oct 09
I love Buzzcocks despite being 60 next year. Amstell was a legend, but the guest hosts have been exceleent so far. Thought I'd miss Bill Bailey too, but Noel Fielding is superbly witty. Keep it coming Buzzcocks!
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ChrisL28492 | 20 Oct 09
Whoever hots Never Mind The Buzzcocks i will watch this show it is amazing!!!!!!!!!
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ChrisL28492 | 19 Oct 09
whoever hots i never mid the buzzcocks i will watch the show it is amazing
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ChrisL28492 | 19 Oct 09
whoever hosts the i will still watch it is amazing
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cockroach | 5 Oct 09
Again, please show different episodes for a change - I've seen the "James Lance" and "KT Tunstall" ones so many times I'm sick of 'em!
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spacecoke | 29 Sep 09
best tv show please show more or even a full day of just buzzcocks :) simon is awsome, sux if he realy is leavin :(
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AmyyyDeee | 9 Sep 09
One of the best shows on tv. Can't believe Simon Amstell is leaving the show it will be nothing without him. He was far better than Mark Lamarr.
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The Almighty Zaphod | 3 Sep 09
Signing up for this site was easily the most stressful and now pointless thing I've done all week.
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The Almighty Zaphod | 3 Sep 09
Best show on Dave. Why isn't available to watch on this site?
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Tomboy3830 | 31 Aug 09
Hay Simon, I think your really HOT, Talented, funny and clever...Thanks for you Tom x P.S. do you want a date? lol
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Ben E | 11 Aug 09
Is Simon really leaving? the show will be nothing without him. MORE BUZZCOCKS durin the week dave!
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lewis12 | 9 Aug 09
Buzzcocks-the dream show!
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Darryl1991 | 8 Aug 09
I always have liked the show as the quiz is to do with music! Mark Lamarr the orginal presenter is better Simon Amstell but he has a certain way of taking the nick off the guests! PLEASE PLAY MORE OF THE SHOW, IT'S GREAT!
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Danni21 | 15 Jul 09
I have been watching never mind the buzzcocks for many years . I never get tired of simon slagging off guests , or the general feel of the show . I can see myself watching never mind the buzzcocks , in many years to come .
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AlmightyNaji | 26 Jun 09
I don't want Simon Amstell to leave!! :'-( He makes Buzzcocks great!
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TheUltimateDaveGeek | 20 Jun 09
I can't believe Simons leaving! :( He's the best thing to happen to the show! Since he started it had become alot more funny and interesting to watch. One of the best shows on DAVE!
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trickle100 | 10 Jun 09
this show is great may it roll on foever !!!!
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LisaSavage | 27 May 09
Buzzcocks will never be the same if he leaves :'(
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Benten10X | 25 Apr 09
Simon Amstell is leaving Buzzcocks! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Type in simon amstell in google.*cries*
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Amziee-xx | 16 Apr 09
any chance you can show series 22, episode 10, the one with dappy from n-dubz, dermot o'leary and areleen phillips, thanks (Y) x
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coolkitten22 | 12 Apr 09
I dont know how this has got on the Never mind the buzzcocks page, but my post is about red dwarf. I think the new series part 1 & 2 was absolute rubbish!!!!! why cant they leave it where it had the most to gain back in the 1990s, it was fab back then, now it is just middle aged men trying to get some money, and frankly it is going nowhere. I wont be watching the 3rd instalment tonight,and I certainly will not be buying it when it comes available on dvd. Th old ones are the best, please please please stop ruining our perspectives, stop making a mockery of these good old prgrams, the new ones will never be as good. coolkitten
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holliee | 12 Apr 09
no way! simon amstell is amazing! and the show's fab, so stop complaining about how you miss mark lamarr! simons been presenting it for ages now, so if it's taken you this long to notice, then obviously you dont miss mark that much.
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keithB65770 | 12 Apr 09
show more with mark lamaar he was alot better than that idiot simon amstell barnsley bob
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randomchicken | 1 Apr 09
Will they make another series again? it was so funny!!
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Captain Swift | 31 Mar 09
Brilliant, Witty and err.. Brilliant.
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nen1309 | 13 Mar 09
Can someone help please. Who was the guest in the lineup on the show aired March 11th at 11pm? And the name of the Boy Band he was from? His name was something like "Cal Carlson" or "Carl Carlton", something like that. Totally forgot the name of the group though. Many Thanks.
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Eurwen x | 7 Mar 09
hey i just wanted 2 say the episode with the chair was hilariouse !!! simon amstell is sooo funny !!! i love him !!!
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CheroElizabeth92 | 24 Feb 09
Simon Amstell is soo much better at presenting the show than Mark Lamarr it is just amazing and constantly has me in stitches!! =D xx
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Eurwen x | 8 Feb 09
i looovee !!! simon amstell anyone who knows me will tell you this and i think he is so much better that mark lamarr , he is alot more witty nd clever with his jokes and anyone who says diffrent has no sence of humor or atleast not a good sence of humor !
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clumsycluts | 4 Feb 09
My favourite programme but please put more of the ones with mark lamar presenting it its way better plz
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terri5784 | 24 Jan 09
never mind the buzzcocks is so cool and simon amstell
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lottielady | 24 Jan 09
Simon Amstrell rules, but still, the show is funny it's self!
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x--alice--x | 9 Jan 09
I Absoulutly LOVE This Show Simon Amstrell Is Amazing (L) Favourite Show Ever
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badabing badaboom | 6 Jan 09
Thankyouthankyouthankyou for ACTUALLY getting these Lamarr episodes you said you would. It makes me incredibly happy. =]
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mac-616 | 3 Jan 09
I LOVE Buzzcocks! I'll miss Bill Bailey, he was hilarious, though... Amstell rules!
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The Golden Girl_xxx | 1 Jan 09
Buzzcocks is so funny and I love Simon
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X...Emma-lou...X | 26 Dec 08
I love simon so funny and cute top gear is a good programme what with jermey voice and richard looks and james's ermmmm hair????
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Space Alien | 20 Dec 08
Simon Amstell can bully anyone he wants, not Ed Byrne though. I think Simon is awesome, but noone will ever ever replace Mark Lamarr!!!
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fredrules5489 | 6 Dec 08
I think the use of the black kitten on tonight's Buzzcocks in order to stop people swearing was wrong.We live in a sick world ,a world where hardly a day goes by without another story of cruelty to animals ,whoever came up with this idea of using a dumb animal in order to stop "humans" using foul language in my opinion, should be" fired" !!!
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Conquest | 3 Dec 08
'Tis a fantastic show, Simon is awesome. :)
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sammy8000 | 19 Nov 08
i love the show but top gears much much much much much much much much much much better lol
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Fizzwidgit | 11 Nov 08
This is an absolutely cracking show. More funny than.... dare I say it.... Mock the Week? Yes, it is.
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badabing badaboom | 3 Nov 08
I too prefer Mr. Lamarr, who is no way a "boring dud", not to say Simon isn't hilarious but he hasn't got the same chemisty with Phill or Bill. Plus, I've seen all the Simon episodes numerous times... And Mark's irritableness was quite endearing, to say the least.
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ComedyxCutie | 29 Oct 08
i reaaly prefer mark lamarr, simons an ass!...funny..but an ass
Latest post
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IanI58543 | 30 Apr 13
View all commentsTo my mind, 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' was at its best during the series when the regulars were Mark Lamarr, Phil Jupitus and Bill Bailey. The earlier series with Sean Hughes were also very good. The show was never the same without Lamarr and once Bill Bailey left it really became a pale shadow of its former self. Prior series of Buzzcocks are not available on DVD- why then, has Dave not seen fit to air them, despite frequent repetitions of the more recent (and IMHO inferior) series?