Quotes: Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood is proof that sometimes, just sometimes, a talent show star can actually possess talent. Since turning up on New Faces in the 70s, she's satirised soaps, mythologised dinnerladies and become a national treasure.
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Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch breakfast TV.
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I've got a degree, does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've also got a life-saving certificate, but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
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My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.
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I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
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Sexual harassment at work. Is it a problem for the self-employed?
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
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My children won't even eat chips because some little know-all bastard at school told them a potato was a vegetable.
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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped but I've been driving that Peugeot for years.
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