Quotes: Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

When asked if he'd ever go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Terry Pratchett replied "I'm already a millionaire". Which, coming from anyone else, would have been slightly annoying. Luckily, the bestselling fantasy author is the epitome of lovableness. And very, very witty too.

  • start quote The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking. end quote
  • start quote On erotic vs. kinky: It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. end quote
  • start quote He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions. end quote
  • start quote Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. end quote
  • start quote It's a metaphor of human existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing. end quote
  • start quote Pratchett's guide to mushrooms: 1. All fungi are edible. 2. Some fungi are not edible more than once. end quote
  • start quote Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. end quote
  • start quote On dolphins: Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something. end quote
  • start quote They were the sort of people generally called salt of the earth. In other words they were hard, square and bad for your health. end quote
  • start quote His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools — the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans — and summed up all three of them in his phrase: You can't trust any bugger further you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink. end quote
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