Quotes: Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
He inspired generations of US comics and played Mr Burns's son on The Simpsons. Bizarrely, his face is also one of the most requested tattoos in America. He's the late, great Rodney Dangerfield, the man who made being a loser into an artform.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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My mother never breast fed me. She said she only liked me as a friend.
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I told my son about the birds and the bees. He told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I really drink way too much. The last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. So I went over. Nobody was home.
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