Quotes: Julian Clary
Julian Clary
Camper than Hi-de-Hi and Butlins combined, Julian Clary is a master of the sudden, shocking one-liner, happily parading his sexuality on stage like a pet dog. A funny little dog with a pinky fluffy coat and diamond-studded leash.
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I'd like to have joined the army, but had to make do with being a renowned homosexual instead.
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On organ donation: There are a couple of conditions. Whoever takes my kidneys must also take my face. And my name as well. And they can kiss goodbye to man-made fibres, watching films with Tom Hanks in, and heterosexual sex.
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I fall in love every seven years or so. I can feel it coming on. It must be like menstruation - I get all flustered and irritable.
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On West London: Rough and ready, so it's hardly surprising that Australian backpackers flock there. Best avoided unless you want to get drunk on cheap drinks and have sex in the toilets. I go about four times a week.
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On motor homes: I'm really only happy when I'm bent double in a small space washing my hair in recycled urine.
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On his body: A temple and popular place of worship. Entry is free, although a small deposit before departure is greatly appreciated.
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To go with the boots I have a full-on corset that gives me an 18 inch waist. I have to re-arrange my intestines but it's worth it in the interests of light entertainment.
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Good evening and thank you for your applause. There's still nothing I like more than a warm hand upon my entrance.
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I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food.
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The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.
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