Quotes: George Carlin
George Carlin
Most Brits know him only as Rufus from the Bill and Ted films. But that really doesn't do George Carlin justice, as this veteran maestro of comedy has been consistently voted one of the very greatest stand-ups of all time. He's angry, he's iconoclastic, and frankly we love him.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend two dollars a piece on those tiny bottles of Evian water? Now try spelling Evian backwards.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I don't have hobbies, hobbies cost money. Interests, on the other hand, are quite free.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
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