Quotes: Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker

She was the femme fatale of the literary world - the wicked wit of the 1920s who coined the phrase "men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses". It's just too bad Dorothy Parker isn't around for Mock the Week - she'd have been just darling at it.

  • start quote That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. end quote
  • start quote On a film star: She delivered a performance that ran the gamut of emotions from A to B. end quote
  • start quote The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. end quote
  • start quote When asked to come up with a sentence with the word horticulture in it: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. end quote
  • start quote I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. end quote
  • start quote This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. end quote
  • start quote Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. end quote
  • start quote In a book review: This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. end quote
  • start quote Time doth flit; oh shit. end quote
  • start quote I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. end quote
Top 10 sexiest stand-up comedians

Top 10 sexiest stand-up comedians

The ten stand-up comedians and comics from Britain and America who, we reckon, are the most drop-dead gorgeous.

Read more

Ray Mears survival tips

Ray Mears survival tips

Ray Mears spent years and years honing his survival skills in some of the world's harshest landscapes. Because the rest of us would rather go to the pub, we've put together an instant, dummy's guide to the wonderful world of bushcraf

Read more