Joan Rivers
Michael Parkinson once called her "the funniest woman in the world by a mile".
OK, so he was introducing her on his show and sucking up just a tad, but there's no denying the greatness of Joan Rivers - the woman who's raised bitchiness to an art form.
It's surprising to learn that Joan Rivers is in her 70s. Partly because she's still such an irrepressible wit, but mainly because she's had so much plastic surgery, she could be her own Madame Tussaud's dummy. Not that she'd be offended by the observation - Joan's the proudest nip-tuckee in celeb-land and thinks we should all get some done.
And you'd be a fool to argue with the person who's coined more one liners than Oscar Wilde. This is the woman who described Boy George as "all England needs - another queen who can’t dress." And who once dismissed the notion of exercise by saying "If God had wanted me to bend over, he'd have put diamonds on the floor."
