Comedy
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Review - Lee Evans: Access All Arenas DVD
Comedy DVDs are a dime a dozen at Xmas. Is it possible to find a needle in the festive haystack? Yes. Here's one.
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Dara Ó Briain's blog
10 ideas for Scenes We'd Like to See that didn't make it into Mock the Week.
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Top 10 times they got it wrong on QI
It's our sad duty to report that even QI, the receptacle of all things wise and witty, sometimes goes a bit wonky.
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Review: That Mitchell and Webb Sound
The BBC Radio 4 sketch show that led to the TV adaptation, proves that even comedy deities are sadly fallible.
10 perfect comedy stocking fillers
Ten ideal comedy gifts that you can buy family, friends or, most importantly, yourself.
Whose gag is it anyway?
There's been a lot of hubbub recently over comedians having their jokes nicked.
Comedy interviews
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Suavely suited and booted, Irish wit Dara O'Briain's tongue is as sharp as a jagged razor blade. We chatted to the big man (he's 6' 4') about college, cartoons and off-the-cuffery.
Dara O'Briain
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Andy Parsons, also known as That Shouty Bald Bloke on Mock the Week and QI, is one of the country's top stand ups.
Andy Parsons
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He played Jesus in The Da Vinci Code, but Dan hasn't let that go to his head. Or has he? We caught up with Jesus to find out.
Dan Antopolski test long title
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His book Yes Man has been turned into a Hollywood film, so we caught up with Scottish-born comic Danny Wallace for all the glitzy goss.
Danny Wallace
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Famous for saying the unsayable, we caught up with the critically acclaimed comic Frankie Boyle.
Frankie Boyle
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You'll know Jason as a team captain on 8 Out of 10 Cats – he's the one who, in his own words, looks like a "fat Michael Owen".
Jason Manford
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He's been tipped as the one to look out for this year. Meet all round funny bloke Jon Richardson.
Jon Richardson
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His infamous comedy marathons have made him something of a legend on the tour circuit, and we just can't get enough of Mark Watson's style – even if it is a bit like watching a kid on speed.
Mark Watson
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Stewart Lee is the 41st best stand up of all time, but he'll never top Tom O'Connor in his mum's eyes.
Stewart Lee
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His blond locks and boyish looks have made him a hit with the ladies, but he's also pretty damn funny.
Russell Howard
Quite interesting quizzes
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Mega QI quiz
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QI Quiz – All about 'A'
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QI Quiz – All about 'B'
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QI Quiz – All about 'C'
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QI Quiz – All about 'D'
Mega QI quiz
Quotes
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Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
- Jimmy Carr
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Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Two guys are talking and one says to the other: 'What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?' The other one says: 'I'd shag everything that moved. What would you do?' And he says: 'I'd stand perfectly still.'
- Billy Connolly
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Day: A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself.
- Mark Twain
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Let's look beyond the divisions of football teams and look at the unifying force within our souls... SEX!
- Russell Brand
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I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.
- Peter Kay
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
- PG Wodehouse
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… Well, I have others.
- Groucho Marx
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Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.
- Noel Coward
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I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
- Tim Vine
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For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
- Spike Milligan
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On releasing your potential: Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
- Dylan Moran
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Britain should be in the driving seat of Europe. In the driving seat, or in the passenger seat. That's good, cos then you can take a sleep.
- Eddie Izzard
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On male genitalia: It's horrible looking. Like some kind of deep sea fish that ate its own arse. What's going on down there? Why can't it be something nice like, say, a kitten's head? You could tickle its chin till it got sick - that would be alright.
- Dylan Moran
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Marriage is like the witness protection program: you get new clothes, you live in the suburbs and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.
- Jeremy Hardy
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I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.
- Woody Allen
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- WC Fields
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On reading the A to Z: Can't wait to see what happens at the end. The characters aren't up to much but the places, they seem so real.
- Paul Merton
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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped but I've been driving that Peugeot for years.
- Victoria Wood
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No-one grows up wanting to be a junkie, eat Utterly Butterly or listen to Phil Collins. Capitalism wears you down.
- Jeremy Hardy
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One of my friends went on a murder weekend. Now he's doing life for it.
- Jack Dee
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Peter Kay
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If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
- George Carlin
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I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five it's fantastic.
- Woody Allen
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
- Billy Connolly
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The higher the buildings, the lower the morals.
- Noel Coward
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
- Dorothy Parker
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions. The curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx
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Cool is just another way of saying 'not very popular'. The Guardian is cool. Desks made out of zinc are cool. Rolf Harris, on the other hand, is warm.
- Jeremy Clarkson
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world?
- Stephen Fry
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If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there's no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
- Paul Merton
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I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris.' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.' Mind you, at least the Eurostar's comfy. It's murder on the Orient Express isn't it?
- Tim Vine
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They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth. But they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.
- Jo Brand
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If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?
- Dara O'Briain
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On David Cameron being sneezed on: This is what happens in this country. In America they assassinate people; here we just wipe snot on their backs. Fundamentally we're better people.
- Paul Merton
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Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
- PG Wodehouse
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- PG Wodehouse
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How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
- Steven Wright
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When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
- Steven Wright
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
- WC Fields
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Douglas Adams
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Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
- Douglas Adams
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Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
- Tim Vine
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About Angus Deayton: His name is Angus. The G is silent.
- Paul Merton
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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- WC Fields
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On former Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin: I wish Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived.
- Winston Churchill
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- Steven Wright
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!
- Bill Bailey
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On former Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald: A sheep in sheep's clothing.
- Winston Churchill
Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Music quiz panel game thingy, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, continues on Dave this month.
