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Win a case of Old Speckled Hen
To celebrate the return of Argumental on Dave, we've got a case of "Old Speckled Hen" for 15 lucky winners.
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Quite interesting quizzes
We've got a QI quiz for every letter of the alphabet. Well, we do if the alphabet only consisted of the letters A-F.
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Men Behaving Badly - Thursdays at 9:40pm
Take a beer or curry quiz and watch some videos that would tickle the lads.
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Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Enjoy our Top 5 most memorable Buzzcocks guests, the Simon Amstell vs Mark Lamarr debate and profiles of the Buzzcocks hosts.
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Let Word War III commence
Argumental Outtakes!
Want more Argumental do you? Well, we'll do any thing to make you happy! Just click on the play button for the outakes from the latest episode! Or on the link below from more from Argumental.
Blur Quiz
Are you a Blur fanatic or did you only buy Parklife because you like photos of greyhounds?
Rufus Hound's Argumental blog
To recap, that's TWO series wins to me. Brigstocke, if you're reading this – and I know you are – in your face, you big posh loser!
Dara O'Briain's exclusive blog
Not only is he a star of Mock the Week and Argumental he's also our official comedy blogger. In this series of exclusive articles Dara reveals some of the secrets behind his shows.
Read moreQuizzes
Top 10 times they got it wrong on QI
It's our sad duty to report that even QI, the receptacle of all things wise and witty, sometimes goes a bit wonky.
Quotes
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!
- Bill Bailey
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.
- Tim Vine
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Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Time doth flit; oh shit.
- Dorothy Parker
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- Spike Milligan
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen
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When I was younger I made it a rule never to take a drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.
- Winston Churchill
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Remember when we dug Saddam up out of that hole? He looked like a Father Christmas who had been sacked from Debenhams for being drunk at work.
- Russell Brand
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Technology is getting so stupidly powerful. For example, my iPod holds 3,000 albums. I own, like, 90 albums. My iPod sits at home, sullen and frustrated and underused, like a wife who gave up her career and the kids turned out to be shite.
- Dara O'Briain
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On Paris Hilton: All I can think of are her poor parents. The shame, the shame of the Hilton family. To have your daughter do a porno film… in a Marriott hotel.
- Joan Rivers
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On dolphins: Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.
- Terry Pratchett
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Clothes maketh the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
- Mark Twain
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
- Jimmy Carr
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It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an airport' appear.
- Douglas Adams
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I was gonna get a BMW and rang my dad who knows a bit about cars. He said, 'You can't get a German car after what your granddad went through in the war.' Now I didn't know about this but apparently, during the Second World War, my granddad had a succession of very unreliable German cars.
- Jack Dee
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers
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The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.
- Julian Clary
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What about the rumours David Cameron smoked drugs as a schoolboy? What worries me most is that he dressed up as a schoolboy to do it, the pervert.
- Russell Brand
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
- Billy Connolly
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I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction.
- Mark Twain
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In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.
- Jack Dee
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When someone close to you dies, move seats.
- Jimmy Carr
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All these programmes on telly about women being domestic goddesses are just not true, are they? I’d like to have a programme that truly represented how women approach the housework. And if I did, it would be called, 'F*ck it, that’ll do.'
- Jo Brand
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On a film star: She delivered a performance that ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.
- Dorothy Parker
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I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
- Eddie Izzard
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On bad chat up lines: Stick around love, cos I've got worse. The worst being, simply, Get in the van.
- Russell Brand
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Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe.
- Douglas Adams
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On former Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin: I wish Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived.
- Winston Churchill
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The singer Gabriella once claimed 'dreams can come true', but she was lying. Dreams don't come true. If they did, the nation's offices would be full of people who'd accidentally turned up for work with no clothes on.
- Charlie Brooker
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams
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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
- Tim Vine
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I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.
- Noel Coward
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Custard: A vile concoction produced by the malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
- Ambrose Bierce
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On the Reformation: Henry VIII went up to the Pope and said: Mr Pope I'm gonna marry my first wife, then I'm gonna divorce her. Second wife, I'm gonna kill her. Cut her head off. Third wife, gonna shoot her. Fourth wife, put her in a bag. Fifth wife, into outer space. Sixth wife, on a rotissamat. Seventh wife, made out of jam.... and the Pope is saying: What have you been reading? The gospel according to St. Bastard?
- Eddie Izzard
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I think animal testing is cruel. They get all nervous and give silly answers.
- Stephen Fry
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Snakes. They're like bits of rope, only angrier.
- Charlie Brooker
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I don't do enough for charity. I do it a bit, you could always do more, but I look at it like this... it's a pain, isn't it?
- Ricky Gervais
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
- George Carlin
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On organ donation: There are a couple of conditions. Whoever takes my kidneys must also take my face. And my name as well. And they can kiss goodbye to man-made fibres, watching films with Tom Hanks in, and heterosexual sex.
- Julian Clary
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In a book review: This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
- Dorothy Parker
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet!
- Groucho Marx
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
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Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.
- Mark Twain
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
- Jimmy Carr
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
- Victoria Wood
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I'd always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn't even put her in the oven.
- PG Wodehouse
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On releasing your potential: Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
- Dylan Moran
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No, you can't lick the system, but you can give it a damn good fondling.
- Stephen Fry
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Sex is like a game of bridge. If you don't get a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- Peter Kay
