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Dara's homework puzzle
How many people are at a party if there are 66 handshakes?
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Ultimate Suits Season 2 quiz
Another season of Suits is over, but how closely were you watching?
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Dara's extra-tricky mind-twisters
Ready to move up a class and take on these tougher teasers?
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Alex Horne Breaks the News
Dave has a brand new comedy podcast - download some witty banter straight into your ears now.
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Dara's School of Hard Sums
Miles Jupp and Stephen Mangan join Dara in next week's episode, Wed at 8pm.
Best Ever Blackadder
A cunning plan for May Bank Holiday Sunday.
Behind the scenes of Hard Sums
We spoke to Marcus du Sautoy to find out how the show is made.
Alex Horne Breaks the News
Dave is proud to present a brand new podcast hosted by Alex Horne with guests including Dan Antopolski, Rob Beckett and Tony Law.
Dara's homework puzzles and brainteasers
Fancy yourself as a bit of a brainiac? Wrap your grey stuff around these...
Quizzes
Ten Top Gear Commandments for proper petrolheads
Ok, so you've done the sensible thing and tuned in religiously, but that's no guarantee you're a real petrolhead...
Quotes
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
- Douglas Adams
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Douglas Adams
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This is the first time in my lifetime that Irish people are able to go: 'What? You're going to England? It's full of terrorists. Come to Ireland. We've no terrorists at all. They're all playwrights now.'
- Dara O'Briain
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It's silly to make generalisations, but if you talk to anyone in the south for longer than five minutes, they will try to sell you fruit.
- Paul Merton
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My body is falling so fast my gynaecologist wears a hard hat.
- Joan Rivers
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I'm an appalling cook. I can just about create a glass of orange juice and a ham-and-cheese sandwich.
- Dara O'Briain
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
- Dorothy Parker
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I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
- Noel Coward
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British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches.
- Jo Brand
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My father's name is Mohammed. Which he abbreviates to Bob.
- Shazia Mirza
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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Joan Rivers
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I wanted to be John Cleese and it took some time to realise the job was, in fact, taken.
- Douglas Adams
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On a film star: She delivered a performance that ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.
- Dorothy Parker
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- George Carlin
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Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Nostalgia is heroin for old people.
- Dara O'Briain
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
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The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
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On her lack of exercise: I went along to the GP and said, 'I'm really worried, is there anything I can actually do?' He said, 'Don't panic. Just do something a couple of times a week that gets you slightly out of breath.' So I started smoking again, and it's really done the trick.
- Jo Brand
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Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Apologise: To lay the foundation for a future offence.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
- Spike Milligan
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Let's look beyond the divisions of football teams and look at the unifying force within our souls... SEX!
- Russell Brand
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A common misconception of me is that I'm very grumpy. I'm only quite grumpy. I am very forgiving in a vengeful way.
- Jeremy Hardy
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Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
- PG Wodehouse
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
- WC Fields
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On talent shows: A bit like watching a programme in which children queue up to be punched in the face by Father Christmas. Absolutely riveting for all the wrong reasons.
- Charlie Brooker
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
- Frankie Boyle
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If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
- WC Fields
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Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.
- Tim Vine
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It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.
- Stephen Fry
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All the women in my family wear the hijab. Which is good because it means they can share the one bus pass.
- Shazia Mirza
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The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
- Terry Pratchett
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How do you know it's time to wash the dishes? Look inside your pants. If you find a penis in there, it's not time.
- Jo Brand
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On being gay: As I was being born, I looked up at my mother and said: that's the last time I'm going up one of those.
- Stephen Fry
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
- Joan Rivers
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On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.
- Russell Brand
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Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.
- Billy Connolly
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All these programmes on telly about women being domestic goddesses are just not true, are they? I'd like to have a programme that truly represented how women approach the housework. And if I did, it would be called, 'F*ck it, that'll do.'
- Jo Brand
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.
- Joan Rivers
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By 2030 there'll be no fish in the sea, according to a CNN report. I blame Comic Relief for that slogan they came up with. Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give him a fishing rod, and... he'll go mental won't he? Greedy bastard.
- Ricky Gervais
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On airline food: Anything white is sweet, anything brown is meat, anything grey - don't eat.
- Stephen Fry
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On trekking abroad: I lost my corkscrew and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
- WC Fields
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- Steven Wright
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I know all teenagers want a computer of their own, but if they want to lock themselves in their rooms and damage their eyesight for hours on end, they don't need a computer to do it.
- Jeremy Hardy
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The best thing anyone's ever shouted at me? Oi you Paki. Go back to India.
- Shazia Mirza
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Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
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On his appendix: Why would God put it in you when it does nothing but randomly kill you for no reason?
- Dara O'Briain
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
- Billy Connolly
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. So I went over. Nobody was home.
- Rodney Dangerfield
