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Dara's homework puzzle
How many people are at a party if there are 66 handshakes?
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Ultimate Suits Season 2 quiz
Another season of Suits is over, but how closely were you watching?
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Dara's extra-tricky mind-twisters
Ready to move up a class and take on these tougher teasers?
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Alex Horne Breaks the News
Dave has a brand new comedy podcast - download some witty banter straight into your ears now.
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Dara's School of Hard Sums
Miles Jupp and Stephen Mangan join Dara in next week's episode, Wed at 8pm.
Best Ever Blackadder
A cunning plan for May Bank Holiday Sunday.
Behind the scenes of Hard Sums
We spoke to Marcus du Sautoy to find out how the show is made.
Alex Horne Breaks the News
Dave is proud to present a brand new podcast hosted by Alex Horne with guests including Dan Antopolski, Rob Beckett and Tony Law.
Dara's homework puzzles and brainteasers
Fancy yourself as a bit of a brainiac? Wrap your grey stuff around these...
Quizzes
Ten Top Gear Commandments for proper petrolheads
Ok, so you've done the sensible thing and tuned in religiously, but that's no guarantee you're a real petrolhead...
Quotes
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On his appendix: Why would God put it in you when it does nothing but randomly kill you for no reason?
- Dara O'Briain
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Grandchildren can be f\*\*king annoying. How many times can you go 'And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink'? It's like talking to a supermodel.
- Joan Rivers
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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Joan Rivers
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
- Joan Rivers
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I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
- Noel Coward
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Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. That's Glastonbury.
- Charlie Brooker
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Book dedication: To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.
- PG Wodehouse
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen
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He looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'.
- PG Wodehouse
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I was not a particularly small child. I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity.
- Jo Brand
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Let's look beyond the divisions of football teams and look at the unifying force within our souls... SEX!
- Russell Brand
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On a film star: She delivered a performance that ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.
- Dorothy Parker
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This is the first time in my lifetime that Irish people are able to go: 'What? You're going to England? It's full of terrorists. Come to Ireland. We've no terrorists at all. They're all playwrights now.'
- Dara O'Briain
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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On Osama bin Laden: He's the face the media have decided to put on terror, but it doesn't mean he's actually running the operation. It's kind of like Kentucky Fried Chicken. Just because the Colonel's picture's on the bucket, doesn't mean he's actually making the chicken.
- Rich Hall
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There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that night time look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
- Eddie Izzard
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On wedding buffets: Vol au vents, chicken legs, cheesecake. Vol au vents, chicken legs, cheesecake. That's all it is, same food repeated. Always reminds of Scooby Doo, the cartoon, where they always used to run down a corridor passing the same things. Plant, clock, plant, clock.
- Peter Kay
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Why is it called a Brazilian when it looks more like Chile?
- Jeremy Hardy
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I think animal testing is cruel. They get all nervous and give silly answers.
- Stephen Fry
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On motor homes: I'm really only happy when I'm bent double in a small space washing my hair in recycled urine.
- Julian Clary
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
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Technology is getting so stupidly powerful. For example, my iPod holds 3,000 albums. I own, like, 90 albums. My iPod sits at home, sullen and frustrated and underused, like a wife who gave up her career and the kids turned out to be shite.
- Dara O'Briain
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- Peter Kay
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On erotic vs. kinky: It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.
- Terry Pratchett
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Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.
- Ambrose Bierce
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I fall in love every seven years or so. I can feel it coming on. It must be like menstruation - I get all flustered and irritable.
- Julian Clary
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It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face.
- Charlie Brooker
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On David Cameron being sneezed on: This is what happens in this country. In America they assassinate people; here we just wipe snot on their backs. Fundamentally we're better people.
- Paul Merton
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Death Before Dishonour. Exactly how much dishonour are we talking about here? Because I could handle quite a lot.
- Dylan Moran
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I discovered I was on the shortlist for Greatest Living Britain. Greatest living Britain? I wanted to bring Isaac Newton down a peg or two. What's he done since gravity? I followed up The Office with Extras.
- Ricky Gervais
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I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
- PG Wodehouse
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
- George Carlin
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
- Groucho Marx
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He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
- Terry Pratchett
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I told my son about the birds and the bees. He told me about the butcher and my wife.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- Steven Wright
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.
- Joan Rivers
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
- Dylan Moran
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I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.
- Tim Vine
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I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.
- Woody Allen
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
- PG Wodehouse
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A common misconception of me is that I'm very grumpy. I'm only quite grumpy. I am very forgiving in a vengeful way.
- Jeremy Hardy
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers
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The world's divided into good and bad people. The good ones sleep better, but the bad ones enjoy the waking hours more.
- Woody Allen
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself.
- Mark Twain
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
- WC Fields
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I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
- Spike Milligan
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On the Empire: We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain. And they're going: You can't claim us. We live here. There's five hundred million of us. Ah, but do you have a flag? We don't need a flag, this is our country you bastard.
- Eddie Izzard
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On Jamie Oliver: He's ultimately harmless. His idea of a coke-fuelled threesome is a glass of cola followed by a bacon, brie and avocado sandwich, and the only time you hear him growling 'You know you want it' is when he's holding a steaming roast lamb up to camera.
- Charlie Brooker
