Judgement Dave blog

My girlfriend is vegetarian. She says she can't bear the thought of lambs being strangled or chickens with gammy ankles, or any other sort suffering in the production of our food. I try telling her that with our pointy gnashers and strong stomachs, humans are designed to eat flesh, and that you can choose to eat meat from happy animals which have spent their lives roaming free, but she won't have any of it. And besides, not a sausage has passed her lips since 1994, so if she was to eat so much a bacon-flavoured crisp, her digestive system would probably implode.

This stubborn reluctance to eat meat poses a problem for our relationship. You see, as a red-blooded male I love meat in all its forms, and when we dine out I usually go for the meatiest dish on the menu. In retaliation, she orders the polar opposite: the free-range tofu on a bed of lentils or the steamed wheat and mung bean salad.

Unfortunately though, we're not rich enough to eat out every day, so most of our meals are cooked at home. She tries to appease me by cooking with all sorts of strange meat substitutes, which even if I could pronounce, I'd be too ashamed to ask for at the supermarket. So when I cook, I want variety, spice and substance, but when meat is off limits what in God's name do you cook?

There are companies which do good business selling substances that look like meat, taste like meat, but are made of something far more unsavory. One such offender, which makes regular appearances in our Saturday morning fry-up, is 'vegetarian bacon'. This still-to-be classified substance looks like an orthopedic insole, has the texture of cardboard and the flavour of bacon Frazzles crossed with value dishwasher tablets. Even after studying the back of the packet, I'm unsure what precisely it's made of. My best guess is recycled, reformed flavoured tennis balls.

But vegetarian food doesn't have to be boring. There are plenty of meat-free meals which are both tasty and filling- the qualities carnivores crave. The following recipe for Mediterranean couscous salad is one of them. It's nice and stodgy, packed full of strong flavours and has some really interesting textures running through it, with feta and pine nuts in the mix. And you won't have to face up to the shame of asking for 'Tofurkey' down the supermarket.

Mediterrenean Couscous salad
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Serves: 4
Prep: 30 min
Cook: 10 mins

Ingredients
- 200g/8oz couscous
- 400ml/14fl oz hot vegetable stock
- 10 sun-dried or sunblushed tomatoes, quartered
- 2 medium avocados, peeled, stoned and cut into large chunks
- 100g/3½oz black olives
- a good handful of nuts, such as pine nuts, cashews or almonds
- 200g/8oz feta, roughly crumbled
- 130g/4oz bag green salad leaves

For the dressing:
- 5 tbsp olive oil
- 2 tbsp lemon juice

Method
1. Tip the couscous into a large bowl, stir in the hot stock, cover and leave to soak for 5 minutes.
2. Make a dressing with the olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper.

3. Stir 2 tablespoons into the couscous, then gently mix in the tomatoes, avocados, olives, nuts and feta. Taste for seasoning.
4. Toss the salad leaves with the remaining dressing, divide between four plates and spoon the couscous on top.