NEWS: Bangers for cash

It might contain more filler than a Sky breaking news report but it'd still be two grand, or it will be if this new government wheeze to jumpstart the car market goes ahead.

The plan is this. If you've got a car over nine years old that still runs, you'll be able to scrap it and get a governmental gift certificate for £2000. You don't have to write a thank-you note or anything, but you do have to put this so-called scrappage money towards a new or barely used car.

It's all the rage in Europe. The Germans, the Spanish, the Irish, the Greeks, even the Romanians have all been cashing in at the crusher. Consequently their car markets are humming along as if the recession didn't exist.

We're probably going to be next, but… big problem. Over here we make good-time cars like Jaguars, Lotuses, Range Rovers and Aston Martins. If you're currently harbouring a Daewoo Nexus, the next purchase probably isn't going to be wearing a Bentley badge. In Germany the Skoda brand is doing very well indeed right now.

Then there's the spurious environmental justification. New cars are cleaner etc, but you've got to make them first. It's estimated that around 20 or 30 percent of emissions chucked out by the average car come from the factory process, so there's that to consider.

On the other hand, it could clear our streets of badly Barry'd (modified) Saxos and Corsas. If there's a better use for all that car tax cash, I don't know of it.