Reasons to love Blighty

- Being pooed on by a pigeon is considered down right lucky.

- Reading a newspaper gives you the right to ignore whatever act of insanity is happening right in front of you.

- Teabags are the essential ingredient in a crisis.

- Old man pubs. Stick your fancy impersonal chain bars; proper boozers rule our world.

- Bad teeth are socially acceptable.

- Terrible weather is a conversation point, not an inconvenience.

- The swan is our most fearsome wild animal.

- Biscuits make Brits coo with delight and a slice of cake constitutes a rapid hand clap.

- Losing is okay, high-fiving is NOT.

- Mediocrity is something to be proud of.

- Every drop of sunshine is appreciated, UNLESS you're stuck in a car/office/well/delete as applicable.

- There are loads and loads of old things to point at (buildings NOT elderly folk, mind).

- Fish 'n' chips with loads of vinegar, washed down with a lukewarm can of Coke and a Mars Bar - a national dish to be proud of.

- A simple tutt tells people you are MAD with them.

- Salary bragging is considered more vulgar than a discussion on bowel movements.

- Pickling things, racing pigeons and rambling are acceptable Sunday activities.

- Public outbursts are completely unacceptable - any witnesses must look directly at their feet.

- The wearing of Speedos is actively discouraged for males over the age of eight.

- Unique posh emotions: hurrah, blimey, gosh, deary me, Ding-Dong!, blast and spiffing.

- Affectionate names: dearie, petal, luv, chick, me duck, duckie, mate, guv, son, ma'am, madam, miss, sir and treacle.

- Queue jumping = mob violence.

- Pantomimes - They are completely unique to Britain. Oh no they're not! Oh yes they are...