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Welcome to Blighty's Rant. As Brits we love to complain, but we also don't want to cause a fuss. So use this little corner of the website to let off steam, blow your top and let rip - but let's do it in the British way, with humour and candour.
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These Aren’t a few of my Favourite Things
May 18, 2009As I’ve had a very long day and I’m not in the mood to form a balanced argument on various aspects of life and the world around us, here is a list of things that annoy me:
- Whistling,
- humming,
- chewing,
- irritating people at the head of long queues on hot days who faff and complain,
- people walking behind me,
- noisy shoes,
- people walking behind me with noisy shoes,
- walking smokers,
- walking smokers walking behind me with noisy shoes,
- Chelsea fans,
- Arsenal fans,
- Manchester United fans,
- supporters of teams that aren’t those three clubs who feel obliged to support them in Europe,
- English weather,
- people who complain about English weather,
- teenage girls thinking they can sing when all they are doing is warbling - without even attempting to hit the note,
- the new song by the Black Eyed Peas,
- the old songs by the Black Eyed Peas,
- programmes about Peter and Jordan,
- programmes about David and Victoria,
- programmes about the fabulous lives of people like Peter and Jordan and David and Victoria,
- companies that advertise what they “believe” to their customers,
- companies that advertise their “thanks” to their customers,
- companies that have hijacked the concept of grand artistic projects to create hideous flash mob marketing stunts,
- having the opportunity to write blogs for websites without really having any ideas of what to write about,
- people who tell me to watch the Wire,
- and Piers Morgan.
Phew. -
For the record…
May 15, 2009I’m fed up with this bloody
weather.
I may have said, in the past, that I’m not a fan of the summer. But I have to say - I’ve changed my mind.
I’m sick of coming to work feeling slightly damp with coldness. I no longer want to spend 20 minutes deciding which coat to wear (and generally plumping for the wrong, more summery one, in the hope it will brighten up later). I’m fed up that my smooth hair (that I spent far too long straightening) becomes a frizzy, matted mess within 10 metres of leaving my house. I’m sick of having the sniffles, but never a full-blown cold.
Quite frankly, I’m sick of feeling sick.
I want the summer to hurry up so I can wear my Birkenstocks every day and paint my toenails the colour of blood. I want to feel the warmth of the dappled sunshine on my skin. I want to sit on the soft grass in the park at lunchtime and eat unwashed, slightly too-hard strawberries from a plastic container (as is the British way) and most of all - I want to go on holiday. I want to walk on the warm, golden sand and make funny footprint patterns, build intricate sand castles and swim in the freezing cold sea (the sea is always cold, right? (I'm clearly delusional – but not completely insane)!
Is this really too much to ask for?
Read on
