Wednesday 15 Apr 09

Food, not-so glorious Food

Food, not-so glorious Food

Jack Dee once commented, “What kind of a family eats out of a bucket?” And he’s right to ask this question. The kind of company that endorses eating food from receptacles usually reserved for coal or gravel needs to employ more chefs and fewer marketing and cost-cutting types.

The introduction of fast food has been a major contributory factor to the declining standards of etiquette in society and the destruction of the human palette. Not do these fat-covered liberal-interpretations of meat clog up our arteries but they have destroyed the food cycle.

Take the cinema – it is baffling to think the average person (in every possible way) can’t go two hours without shovelling sweaty, crunchy lumps of nothingness down their gobs. Many a time have the deep and meaningful segments of films been ruined by the sound of the salivary crunch of the world’s most inappropriate film-watching morsel.

The way to cure the scourge of food served in cement mixers and high-decibel snacklets is to eat meals. Proper meals. Watch Saturday Kitchen and Gary Rhodes, put a cooked slab of meat next to a couple of piles of roughage and you’re set. Your body will be thankful, your senses more satisfied and I won’t be tempted to remove your head and bury it in the residuey filthiness of an empty fried-chicken scuttle. (JT)